“Nude Vampire With Gloves” Tintype on Silver, 1864, Artist Unknown (and possibly consumed)
this is the greatest fucking caption i’ve ever seen
hey just fyi, ac/emi/ndbre/aker, the last person on that post about antisemitism, is a pedophile
source? i checked her blog and all i could find was her saying that her *special interest* during adolescence was child molestation, and she did specify that this was related to her having done a lot of research regarding her own abuse and that having a special interest doesn’t mean you condone the thing
if you have sources or just misinterpreted something then no hard feelings, but otherwise i mean. i think most of my followers are gonna know by now how i feel about csa survivors being falsely accused of pedophilia
Hairdresser: We’re going to have to use a color remover to take out the blue pigment, then apply more pigment to allow for the proteins in the hair to adhere to it. Then possibly mix three different types of toners to reach the goal of your natural hair color.
Hairdresser: pretty simple
Me: this is chemistry
Hairdresser: yeah, but people don’t like when we talk that way
Hairdresser: so you’re a mortician?
Me: apprentice
Hairdresser: do you know why formaldehyde is used in clothing?
Me: I didn’t know that was a thing
Hairdresser: I think it’s due to the preserving qualities? But I don’t think that’s right.
Me: It’s not just a preservative, it’s also a disinfectant ‘cause it destroys bacteria as well as their food supply. It’s also a dehydrator.
Hairdresser: why not just use alcohol?
Me: good question. Formaldehyde is super cheap, so probably to cut costs
Hairdresser: is it really a carcinogen?
Me: yeah, I’m going to have so much cancer
Hairdresser: so you’re going natural to work at a funeral home?
Me: yeah
Hairdresser: while still in school?
Me: well we work in the funeral homes so we have uuuuh … experience with cases
Hairdresser: you can just say bodies it’s fine
Me: oh thank god
Five Minutes Later
Me: yeah so we don’t do autopsies it’s one of my pet peeves
Hairdresser: what if someone wakes up while you’re embalming them?
Me: there’s a huge difference between a living body and a dead one
second hairdresser: I think we should add more toner, but yeah I think rigor mortis would make it pretty obvious
Me: that and being in a fridge for a few days you will be dead by the time you get to us
Hairdresser: I think pumping them full of a carcinogen would help with that
Concept: Game of Thrones, but with a daytime soap opera’s attitude toward major character death.
Watching the Roshomon Job…
And while I fully support the headcanon that Hardison and Parker were just f*cking with Sophie about her accent because their boyfriend was (since we know that all of them are very familiar with English accents for jobs), I just realized why Eliot, Mr. “It’s a Very Distinctive [EVERYTHING]”, made Sophie a Cockney floozy in his story.
It’s because of Nate.
Eliot is definitely a charmer, and Nate’s fully aware of that. But Eliot respects Nate and his boundaries. Remember the look on Eliot’s face when he realized in The First David Job that the girl he was flirting with was Maggie, Nate’s wife? He was visibly flustered. And everyone in the group knows that Nate and Sophie are involved (in a complicated relationship, but together, nonetheless). Nate was calm about Sophie flirting with “Dr. Abernathy” because it was some random guy she flirted with once as part of her cover and never saw again. Then, suddenly Dr. Abernathy became the same guy that they’ve been working with for three years– the younger, more charming guy that’s arguably more stable. Yeah…that’s awkward.
So what does Eliot do? He turns Sophie’s part on its ear. Instead of flirtatious banter with a socialite (which it no doubt was), he alters his memory to make Sophie come on strong with a ridiculous accent. The whole story is to put Nate at ease, because while it’s obviously not what happened, Eliot’s putting visible space between himself and Sophie, both then and now.
Now, obviously his partners did not catch on to what the hell was going on. All Hardison saw was Eliot (and then Sophie) mocking each other’s accents, and who wouldn’t want in on that? So he goes with Lord of the Rings, because hell yeah! And since they probably were flirting (and Hardison was a horny nineteen-year old geek), he ups the sexual tension between them at the party to mess with them both. Parker, meanwhile, has no idea what’s going on in the present, but I doubt she was actually paying any attention to what anyone was saying at the party– she was playing the part of The Scenery. But if everyone else is making Sophie sound ridiculous, she wants in, too.
One thing that I’ve noticed the media doing a lot of is conflating “has unrefined manners” with “being working class,” regardless of the person’s actual income level.
Being a foul-mouthed know-nothing does not magically turn some petit-bourgeois suburban pig-fucker “working class” and it is extremely classist for you to claim otherwise.
listen up, goyim, because i’m gonna say this once and once only.
antisemitism is a form of oppression, but it relies on a different mindset. it is a different ballgame than ANY sort of prejudice you know. yknow why? because to antisemities, jews aren’t lesser (well, we are, but that’s not the important thing). we’re successful.
that’s the kicker.
antisemities WANT you to believe that jews are doing well, because if we’re doing well, we’re not REALLY being persecuted. it all goes back to the protocols of the elders of zion: the jews are taking over. the jews are a threat. therefore, if they’re a threat, it’s only right to kill them. it’s only right to ghettoize them. it’s only right to have exterminated 40% of the world’s jewish population in the 40s.
nevermind the fact that antisemitism makes up nearly 50% of all religious hate crimes in the us. nevermind the fact that jews make up less than 2% of the world’s population. nevermind the fact that jews, historically, have been scapegoated and killed and othered for literal millenia. i mean, who cares, because jews are rich and powerful, right?
don’t fall for it. don’t fall for the centuries-old claim that jews are just faking it. listen to us. support us.
and the next time you brush off antisemitism because ”oh, it’s not a big deal, jews are successful”, take a good hard look at yourself and realize that you’re spouting the same nazi propaganda that killed six million people.
if y’all reblogged my other jew posts you should look at this one too. really important point.
I know it’s different but this reminds me of rhetoric used to justify hurting gifted/talented children and asexuals. By a certain warped perspective, being seen as ‘better’ can be used to justify doing harm. Even if it’s all a lie.
Tumblr just flip flops from one extreme to another. We went from:
“Demiboys and demigirls are fake and cis special snowflakes trying to be trans for a trend, if you’re so close to the binary you’re just male/female”
to
“Are you male-aligned or female-aligned nb? What? You cant NOT be aligned because its about oppression/you can’t opt out of gender/gender as a class"
Like, where’s the middle ground here? It SHOULD have been:
“Hey so there’s an issue with seeing binary-aligned nbs as fake or cis or not as nb, but there’s also a big issue with erasing the existence of non-aligned people and telling them they need to align. Maybe…maybe we should…weird thought but…respect ALL nbs?”
Notice both are attempts to reconcile people into binarized categories
cisphobeofficial 