fistarnius:

Custom autism-themed Cards Against Humanity sheets. Best used in
combination with the standard set. Reblog with your favorite
combinations.

Black cards:

• Although vaccine theories have been thoroughly discredited, some studies suggest that autism is really caused by ________.
• To the great surprise of the Autistic community, the latest film from Autism Speaks portrays ________ in a positive light.
• ________ doesn’t make you autistic! That happens to everyone!
• The reason there are no autistic adults is because every autistic 17-year-old experiences ________.
• What’s my special interest?
• New reports claim that ________ must have been autistic because they liked ________. (Pick 2)
• Following
  the consolidation of Autism Spectrum Disorder in the DSM, the ICD will
  now refer to the entire autism spectrum as ________.
• I tried to
  drive from ________ to ________, but due to my horrible navigational
  skills, I wound up in ________ instead. (Draw 2, Pick 3)
• You can’t be autistic if you’re capable of ________.
• Labels belong on ________, not people.
• To avoid “ass burgers” jokes, Asperger syndrome will be renamed ________.
• Where do spoons come from?
• A collaborative campaign between Autism Speaks and PETA will feature nude models with the slogan: “________“.
• I meant to say ________, but my text-to-speech app autocorrected it to ________. (Pick 2)
• Don’t you hate seeing everyone on their phones all the time? I miss the old days when we had ________.
• This year’s Light It Up Blue campaign aims to put light bulbs all over ________.
• In Temple Grandin’s upcoming book, she explains that cows are similar to autistic people because they both have ________.
• What’s the best way to come out as autistic?
• Some people flap when they’re happy. I flap because of ________.
• In her latest Playboy video, Jenny McCarthy uses her son’s autism as inspiration for ________.

White cards:

• Knowing useless facts about everything.
• Exclusively dating autistic people to further the master race.
• Bribing the diagnostician to make you sound more disabled on paper.
• Temple Grandin.
• Rain Man.
• Flapping your nail polish dry.
• Measles parties.
• Tasting spice in food labeled not spicy.
• The disgusting taste of bottled water.
• Just nodding and smiling because you’ve already said “can you repeat that?” three times.
• Having pets who understand you better than humans do.
• Searching for beer while lost in the desert.
• Texting someone who is right in front of you.
• Infodumping about the menstrual cycle.
• Memorizing the script to a porn movie.
• Making suggestive eyebrow movements at the wall next to you.
• Running out of spoons while spooning.
• Exploiting the stereotype that autistic can’t lie to get out of trouble.
• Subtly switching to the green communication card when an attractive person is nearby.
• That one autistic character on that one episode of that one show.
• A bleach enema.
• Accidentally staring at a woman’s breasts while avoiding eye contact.
• Socio-emotional reciprocity.
• Proposing marriage with a plastic spinner ring.
• Nikola Tesla making sweet love to his imaginary laser pigeon.
• Having situational mutism during wedding vows.
• Going outside, then realizing there’s no wi-fi and going back inside.
• Stuffing one bag full of everything you could possibly need.
• Friends doing unrelated things in close proximity.
• Going to a museum to touch all the sculptures.
• Guessing people’s names.
• Knowing more about your neurotype than a psychologist with a PhD.
• Forgetting to eat.
• Self-diagnosis.
• Fad diets.
• Cows.
• Cats.
• Eye contact.
• The internet.
• Clothes with no tags.