Hardison has a rule that he will never, ever hack into any Stark Industries servers. He’s heard enough horror stories, thank you kindly. The only person who he knows of who ever got anywhere is this person with the handle J.A.R.V.I.S., but he doesn’t know if that’s a rumour or not.
Nate knows every piece of art in the Stark-Potts collection and what it’s worth. He has retrieved at least four pieces. Pepper knows him by name. When he loses his job and Sterling takes over, Tony is like: why can’t we have the other one back? He’s an alcoholic? SO? I HAVE A BAR. HE CAN DRINK HERE. I DON’T LIKE THIS NEW ONE PEP.
Special agents Thomas and Hagen get assigned to SHIELD as FBI liaisons. SHIELD totally knows Parker and Hardison aren’t really FBI, but they know about Leverage and are like: eh, it’s fine, just keep them away from any alien stuff and don’t let them steal anything.
(Also, I’m not saying Melinda May and Eliot may have had a fling in the past but Melinda May and Eliot may have had a fling in the past.)
Sophie once dated Tony Stark for a weekend. She wasn’t even trying to con him, she just saw an opportunity while conning someone else and was like: you only live once. She won’t tell anyone if she slept with him or not, just smiles mysteriously and says ‘he was a perfect gentleman… until I asked him not to be’. It drives Nate insane. (What she means is they went to get greasy burgers at an all-night diner after a gala, in their fancy clothes.)
Parker likes watching videos of Black Widow and seeing if she can replicate her moves. Eliot may have been a Very Willing Test Subject for the Death By Thighs move.
There is also a week where she decides she wants to be like Hawkeye. Nate has to ban sucker darts and toy bows before Eliot murders her. Or Sophie. Or Nate himself. Hardison is immune and probably builds her a sucker dart compound bow with laser guide.
Nate has Complicated Feelings about Captain America being back because Sam used to love the comics and he’s not sure if this guy is the real deal and will live up to the hero his son worshipped.
Nate gets over himself pretty quickly when he sees Steve Rogers cuss out a Fox reporter who tried to stop him on the street to get him to condemn vaccines and universal health care. They watch the 25 minute lecture-rant at least three times as a team. Nate thinks he’d like to buy Captain America a drink.
Nobody mention the similarities between Eliot Spencer and Bucky Barnes, it will not end well.
Especially when one time, Captain America and his buddy The Falcon showed up because they got a tip Bucky was ‘working at a brewpub in Portland’ and Eliot had to let him down that sorry, he was the only long-haired murderfaced assassin at this pub. He offered them dinner on the house and very manfully made it all the way to the back of the kitchen before doing a little freak out fanboy dance because he shook Captain America’s hand, Hardison, oh my god I’m going to feed him so much chili.
They have to distract Parker from trying to steal Sam’s wings. And make her give back Steve’s wallet. Twice.
The week Wakanda made itself known to the world is the week Hardison lost the ability to speak in anything other than high pitched squeaks of delight and awe. (Hardison literally faints when his online gaming buddy shows up at the brewpub like: what up, Hardison, guess who’s actually the princess of Wakanda and has a badass invisible ship.)
the government(s): u can sign this document that basically makes u a weapon that we can use as we please….. and if u use ur powers without permission u can be put in jail without a trial…… and we’ll track all ur movements and have ur dna to see how much of a risk u r…… or u can retire steve rogers, remembering when he and all his collegues accidentally worked for a nazi organization: no thanks the govt: ok………no hidden laws or tricks or anything…….don’t worry…… (: but btw this shitty survellience camera image looks like ur old pal buck so….. we’re going to send a kill squad after him without further investigation cause we need a scapegoat……and u can’t do anything to stop us without becoming a fugitive so :)))))) steve;
god i love anti steve content bc i cant even be mad at it bc it lit sounds like stan content its all like “steve rogers betrayed his country and committed treason all for some dick” like yes he did thats my baby and im proud of his anti american gay ass
Thor fears Steve. Not for his anger or skill, but his
sadness.
Thor is a god; his lifespan will last thousands – tens of
thousands – of Midgardian years. And yet he has chosen to tether himself to this
mortal realm, to these mortal friends.
Even if they survive their dangerous lives, they will age
and die. A few decades at most, and they will all be gone. And he will live the
rest of his lifetime with only their memory.
Thor fears Steve, because in him he sees the wounds such
loss leaves behind.
black panther au where everything is the same but instead of martin freeman it’s alec hardison pretending to be cia for a con
Alec “I wish I’d played more flight simulators” Hardison trying to shoot down the other planes in Shuri’s simulator and freaking out about it.
The rest of the team getting worried when he disappears and when they find out that Killmonger has taken over Wakanda they team up with T’Challa and are like “let’s go steal a throne.”
Hardison doing the Wakanda Forever salute ❤
(ideally I’d watch the movie ten more times because my memory is garbage except for memes, but oh well.)
1. Nakia can tell there’s something off about this “CIA agent” right away. Something about the way he looks at T’Challa. CIA has a very distinctive look toward him. This guy is something else. She doesn’t tell the others, though; he’s not going to get the artifact, no matter who he is.
I just want everybody to know that my son, Peter Parker, would try to lift Thor’s hammer because he’s a child and would use so much force that he just hit himself in the face because he thought he wouldn’t be able to lift it so easily
peter just knocks himself unconcious with thors hammer
cisphobeofficial 