Ed: Yeah I used to be missing the arm too but I got it back haha. Ed’s kids: Sure thing, dad.

storysongandstars:

prideofagarbage:

ruinsofxerxes:

ED’S KIDS DON’T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE 

“Dad how do you know so many important people in the military?” “I used to work under Fuhrer Mustang, i still owe him money actually” “yeah right”

“dAD HOW COME THE EMPEROR OF XING JUST CAME IN THROUGH OUR WINDOW?!” “BECAUSE I MADE HIM EAT MY BOOT AND IT CEMENTED OUR FRIENDSHIP” “WHEN WILL THE LIES STOP DAD”

#‘your uncle used to be a suit of armor’ ‘Dad stop’#‘grandpa was immortal’ ‘do you think we’re dumb??’#‘Mustang punched me once’ ‘yeah right like the fuhrer would punch someone’ ‘he’s actually a dick’ ‘uh-huh’#‘Scar almost killed me a few times’ ‘Dad stop lying he’s like one of the leaders of peace between Ishval and Amestris’#‘He came really close too’ ‘Dad.’

‘i fistfought god and i won’ (via: deliverusfromsburb)

neuropunk-travesty:

Why is it that people pipe in with “queer is a slur” when I call myself that or refer to other people who also call themselves that… but I never see that happen when someone is derisively calling other people “qweer”.

In one case it’s my self-identity and in the other its an actual insult but for some reason I’m the one hurting people by using it.